The Problem With Modern Friendship-Making Apps

Sep 11

5 min read

In today’s digital age, we rely on apps for just about everything, from ordering food to booking vacations to making new friends. The world of friendship apps has exploded in recent years, with many platforms designed to help us meet new people and expand our social circles. Most of these apps, however, follow a similar pattern: you swipe through profiles of strangers, hoping to find a potential friend based on their photo or a brief bio. But is this really the best way to forge meaningful friendships?

While swipe-based apps have their merits, the idea of swiping through profiles to determine whether or not you want to be friends with someone has its limitations. Friendship, after all, is rarely built on a first impression alone. Shared experiences, mutual interests, and spending time together are far more powerful factors in developing lasting connections. That's why many people are turning to event-based or activity-based apps, which offer a much more natural way to meet people and form friendships.

Let’s explore why event-based and activity-based friendship-making is often more successful and rewarding than simply swiping on profiles.

1. Shared Experiences Lead to Deeper Connections

One of the key reasons people become friends is through shared experiences. Whether it’s bonding over a team project, going on an adventure, or even just hanging out and chatting, shared experiences provide a foundation for friendships to grow.

Swipe-based apps typically skip over this essential part of relationship-building. While you may find someone whose profile interests you, there’s no guarantee that you’ll click in real life. Often, the swipe leads to a conversation that fizzles out before you ever meet up. On the other hand, event-based apps prioritize meeting people in person, in the context of shared activities. When you attend an event or engage in a group activity, you’re naturally experiencing something together, which immediately gives you a common ground to start building a relationship on.

For example, joining a local hiking group or attending a book club puts you in a position to connect with others over something meaningful. These experiences allow conversations and connections to happen organically, making it easier to bond with those who have similar interests and values.

2. It’s Easier to Break the Ice with Activities

Meeting someone for the first time can be intimidating, especially when there’s nothing to do but talk. Swipe-based apps tend to encourage one-on-one meetings, where the pressure is on to maintain an interesting conversation from the start. This can be awkward, especially if there’s no immediate chemistry.

Event-based apps remove this pressure by focusing on group activities or events where there’s always something to do. Whether you’re at a pottery class, a cooking workshop, or a weekend volunteering event, the activity itself acts as a natural icebreaker. Instead of feeling the pressure to come up with conversation topics, you can bond over the task at hand. Conversations flow more easily when there’s a shared purpose, and you’re more likely to find people you genuinely enjoy spending time with.

3. Swipe Fatigue is Real

Anyone who has used a swipe-based app knows how quickly it can become exhausting. You spend time curating your profile, swiping through countless other profiles, and starting conversations that often lead nowhere. This constant swiping can lead to what’s known as “swipe fatigue”—the point where the process becomes so repetitive and draining that it stops being fun or productive.

In contrast, event-based apps are designed to take the focus off endless profiles and instead encourage you to participate in real-world activities. There’s no endless swiping—just opportunities to meet up with people who are also interested in the same event or activity as you. This approach feels more genuine and less like a numbers game, reducing the mental fatigue that often comes with swipe-based platforms.

4. Authenticity Over Appearance

Let’s face it: swipe-based apps tend to prioritize appearance. You’re often making decisions about potential friends based on a single photo or a short bio. While appearances can certainly play a role in attraction and connection, they aren’t the foundation of a strong friendship. Friendships are built on personality, interests, values, and the quality of time spent together.

Event-based friendship-making shifts the focus away from looks and more toward shared passions and activities. When you meet someone at a local running group or a trivia night, you’re not thinking about how they look in a profile picture—you’re getting to know them based on their personality, sense of humor, and how well you get along during the activity. This fosters more authentic connections that aren’t based on superficial qualities.

5. Real-Life Interactions Lead to Faster Friendships

Swipe-based apps often create a long, drawn-out process before you actually meet someone. You swipe, you match, you message back and forth, and maybe, eventually, you meet up. But by the time you meet, it might feel like there’s already a mismatch between your online conversations and the reality of spending time together.

Event-based apps, however, encourage real-life interactions from the start. Instead of spending days or weeks chatting through an app, you’re joining an event or activity where you can meet new people face-to-face right away. This cuts out the awkward, uncertain messaging stage and lets you jump right into getting to know someone in a natural, real-world setting. Friendships are often formed much faster when they begin with shared activities, rather than endless messaging.

6. Less Pressure to “Perform”

With swipe-based apps, there’s often a sense of performance involved. People feel pressured to present the best version of themselves in their profiles, which may not always be an accurate reflection of who they are. This can lead to mismatched expectations when you finally meet someone in person.

Event-based apps, on the other hand, don’t require you to craft a perfect profile or put on a front. Instead, you’re simply showing up to an event or activity where you can be yourself and let the experience speak for itself. This makes the process of making friends feel more authentic and less like a competition or performance.

The Conclusion: Why Event-Based Friendship Apps Are the Future

Swipe-based apps have dominated the friendship and dating scene for a while, but they’re not the best solution for everyone. For those looking for deeper, more authentic friendships, event-based and activity-based platforms provide a much more natural way to connect with others. These apps prioritize shared experiences, making it easier to break the ice, build meaningful relationships, and skip the superficiality and fatigue that come with swiping through endless profiles.

If you’re tired of swiping and want to focus on making friends through real-life interactions and shared interests, consider giving event-based apps a try. One such app that’s gaining popularity for intentional friendship-making is Invite: Intentional Connecting. It’s designed to help people meet through activities, events, and shared interests, making it easy to form genuine connections with those around you.

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/invite-intentional-connecting/id6566170778

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.invite.app&pcampaignid=web_share